Want to annoy DUP? Vote Alliance

Nothing annoys the DUP more than people voting Alliance.

Yes, it’s a bit irritating when they vote for other Unionists, but at least they’re still “one of us”. It’s quite annoying when they vote Nationalist, but that is what you expect from “themmuns”. In particular, a Sinn Féin vote is not ideal, but frankly they are not competition. Likewise the Greens. Actually a People Before Profit vote probably annoys Sinn Féin, so that’s borderline positive.

No, what really irks the DUP is an Alliance vote. These pesky progressives with their common sense, and considered positions, and rational outlook, and worst of all a Christian Leader who quite unbelievably thinks a God of Grace would be harsher on the deceptive and the corrupt than He would on someone marrying the person they love… I mean what kind of reasoned, sensible tomfoolery is this?

And of course these galling Alliance types all want politics to be about irrelevant stuff like health, jobs and education. And they suggest there is something odd about Saudi-linked donors, fiver land deals, and ratepayers’ money going to Orange Halls! I mean it’s absurd.

And as for the notion that we should be doing something about sectarian segregation of public services, most obviously education… I mean anyone would think people actually wanted the money spent on cancer drugs or new school buildings instead. Such rational analysis defies belief.

It is very important therefore to accuse them of plotting when they do the normal things you do, terrify people about positions they don’t actually hold, and stand aside when their offices get arsoned by rioters. Remember, we can’t have Alliance being elected, because they might want to engage in radical reform – like having a competent government for all the people of Northern Ireland. I mean who could possibly desire such a thing?

So there it is.

Do you really want to annoy the DUP tomorrow? Vote Alliance first preference!

 

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2 thoughts on “Want to annoy DUP? Vote Alliance

  1. 416 says:

    Bravo dude.

  2. Michael Watts says:

    🙂

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